Doin' the Pretty Girl R.O.K.: October 2015

I've been pretty drained lately. I've been slipping into La La Land. The space where nothing matters except what I want or what my body needs. Not out of anger or defiance, but fatigue. I just lose the energy to focus on others. It gets hard to remember what time it is, or even what day it is. This morning, I almost forgot I needed to get dressed and leave for work. I mean, I woke knowing I had to go to work, but I just... zoned out of responsibilities mode and kind of withdrew I guess. When I was on the bus, I started to zone out and fall asleep 3 stops before I needed to get off. I got off at the right stop though.

I've been consciously focusing on things that interest me, because I'd become bored. And with all the cool and exciting things there are to do, being bored made me feel like I was being lazy. So I started coding. I'm enjoying it. There's SO MUCH to learn, but it's fun so I can handle the occasional feeling of overwhelm. It's not just new languages (html, css, javascript, java, ruby, etc.), it's a whole new world. And that's fascinating and a little intimidating, but I'm not alone in my learning, which helps immensely.

I started taking Korean lessons. I like them. I don't really have much else to say about that.

I've also started a podcast. I've only done 2 episodes and I have ideas for future ones, but I don't know how well that's going. It was an idea I'd had, but never acted upon because that's how I roll. I often get a case of analysis paralysis, where I over think things and as a result never act on them. Then I was encouraged by a couple of my coding friends to be more proactive (or just active really) and just do it. So I did it. And then I made another one. The 2nd one didn't receive much positive feedback on the content, or the style. I mean, I asked for the feedback, and I got some constructive critiques, but I'm still learning how to not take criticism personally. Especially when it's about something I created (and was afraid to create).

I straddle this line between fear of rejection, and need for external validation. It's messed up, you know? So I put myself out there, even though I'm afraid. And sometimes I regret it. But that's life.

I'm writing more, and seeing friends more, which pleases me. Maybe that's why I'm tired. I'm doing a lot more than I was doing before. And being an introvert who also enjoys being social, I need to learn when to step back and slow down before I exhaust myself (like it seems I've done). Monday comes and I wonder what happened to the weekend, because I didn't rest. So maybe this is what happens when I don't take enough time to myself?

Friday was "Hangeul Nal" which means Hangeul Day. Hangeul is the written form of Korean, created by King Sejeong (I think) to make Korean more accessible to the common folk.

On that day everyone had the day off, so I went to Gamcheon Culture Village with some new friends and took a bunch of pictures. Real people live there every day, and if I remember correctly it housed a lot of refugees displaced by/from the Korean War. Now, however, it's like an art walk with lots of great photo ops. I can't imagine what it must be like to live there, hanging your laundry out to dry for tourists to see.... weird.
With that said.... We had a great time! From the 2 hilarious taxi drivers we had to the great photos to Chloe's phenomenal creeper face, it was a wonderful day for me. Lots of fun and laughs and pictures! So here they are: