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Monday, December 29, 2014

Going Back

You won't believe it... or maybe you will. But when I left Korea the last time I said, "Great learning and growing experience. Glad I did it. Never again."

Well, now I'm going back. Why? Good question considering how I felt 3 years ago. The truth is ..... something's telling me to go back. Call it Spirit, or God, or intuition, or adventure, or whatever. But that's the main reason. I'm also interested in a "do-over." You know, I want to try again. Also in the space of 3 years my feelings went from "never again" to "nostalgic but still never again" to "nostalgic... maybe I should visit but never live there" to "nostalgic... maybe I could do it again" to "I miss it... wait, what?" to "I wanna go back, I think" to "I have to go back" to "I'm going back." Hehehe

In retrospect, and knowing what I know now, I realise that my biggest problem was my attitude. And I realised it while I was there too, which is why the last 5 months there were notably better than the first 7. The next biggest issue was that I never left Asia in that whole year. I think if I'd gone home for Christmas, or if I'd decided to get a new job after my contract ended, but went home for a month or two, I may not have had the same outlook. As it is, I needed the time to grow even more as a person.

This time around I'll be going with some experience and the insights that came with it. I'll have more control over where I live and now I know I always have total control over how I feel and how I respond (rather than react) to situations. I know now that what I put out I get back, in actions, words, and thoughts.

Right now I'm in the process of selling/giving away/throwing out everything but what I plan to bring with me. Most of my stuff I have very little attachment to, but I feel like just throwing them out would be a waste, so I'm trying to be mindful of how I release things, which takes time, but I started doing it even before I had a job, so I'm not in a hurry. I've got one more month to release everything else. Some of these things, though, are hard for me to let go. So this next month will definitely be an exercise in detachment.

I'm excited all throughout this process, so let's see how things go!!

Anyway, that's all for now. More updates to come. =)

Angel xo