Uplifting Class Story

So many blog posts I've been meaning to make. I mean geezus I haven't posted since July!!! Anyway I wanted to share this neat story from this morning's 10th grade class.

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Implementing a new practice in my classes. We start with a few questions:
- What are you worried about right now?
- What can you do about it?
- What are you grateful for today?

In response to the third question, one of my students blew my mind with this gem:

"I just realised today that there is no reason not to be grateful." 

*KABOOM!* (the sound of my mind being blown)

She said she had that thought in the shower this morning. Talk about Divine Timing! Talk about profound! Talk about "from the mouths of babes" AM I RIGHT?!

Contradictions

This blog isn't Korea-related except insofar as I'm in Korea.

Lately I've had these thoughts swirling around in my mind and I'm gonna put them down in an attempt to sort through them. If this gets posted it will be because I want to share my thoughts, and I'm happy to hear yours, but I'm not looking for advice.

I've read a number of self-help / self-improvement / self-acceptance articles, books, blog posts over the past 4 years. And there are a few themes I've seen repeatedly:

1. We are all connected, so we need to love and care for each other.
2. You get what you give. So give love.
3. Don't look externally for love. Love comes from within. If you expect others to give you love you'll only end up disappointed.
4. Don't subscribe to limiting beliefs. 
5. You deserve the love you're always trying to give others. (This last one I've only started seeing over the last 6 months or so)

This is my dilemma. These ideas seem to contradict each other. Like, we ought to love each other, but then when I give love and hope to get it back I'm doing something wrong, because expectations lead to disappointment. But I'm supposed to get what I give, so if I give love shouldn't the result be that I get love? And if you tell me that I deserve the love I give others, then why is it wrong for me to expect it? 

Give without expectation of reciprocation. That's another I've heard a lot. But if we're told that when we give love, somehow the universe will return it, why not expect it? If it's a law of the universe, why not expect it to be carried out? Like the law of gravity. If I'm holding an apple and I let it go, I expect it to fall and no one questions that. No one says, "Drop things without expectation of them hitting the ground." Just typing that felt silly. 

I'm left with this feeling that I'm selfish for wanting people to return the love I give them. Or that I'm foolish for expecting it. But then what? Give up on people? Put out love, because it's the right thing to do, but don't dare expect any love in return, except you'll get it because that's the Law of Attraction, except don't expect it cuz then you'll be disappointed, but you won't because what you put out you get back. That just makes me feel like people are a disappointment, but we're supposed to rely on each other because we can't live in isolation, but we also can't depend on others to give us love and happiness. Like... do you see where I'm confused?

So then the big question: Am I putting out love? I mean, I make a conscious effort to act from a place of love, not fear. And when I choose to actively put love out there, I don't initially do it thinking, "I'm gonna do this so I can get it back." But is that thought lurking around somewhere in there? I dunno.

Things

1) Wanna know something I only just realised last weekend? For a very long time I saw exercise as punishment for being fat. Think about that. Think about what that does to a person when they feel a) something is wrong with them, b) it's their own fault, c) as punishment or to atone for this sin of having this body, they *have to* exercise. I *hate* being told what to do. I *hate* feeling like I *have to* do something someone else says. If I'm gonna do something, it has to be because *I* see value in it. And I see no value in punishing myself.

It took me YEARS to come to the place I'm in now. It is a place where I love my body AS IS and I love my SELF. And I now believe that loving my body means making better choices for it. It took me .... 15 years to WANT to exercise. To WANT to eat differently. Not because other people kept reminding me of how fat/sedentary I had become, but because I didn't feel good and my body didn't feel good. I want to have a strong and healthy heart and lungs and legs and back and arms. I want to be able to help my parents when they get to the age when they need my help, even if that means physically lifting them. Especially if that means physically lifting them.

Also I've wanted to be 'a runner' for years. As a kid I was quite fast and I enjoyed running. When I was 7 I began gaining a lot of weight (thanks Canada) and running ceased being fun, so I stopped doing it. I didn't know why I'd been gaining so much weight and I didn't know how to make it stop. I just knew I was now "full-figured"/ "a big girl"/ "plus sized".

I now know/believe/feel that grains are what caused my rapid weight gain at 7, particularly the way grains are harvested and processed in Canada. Hence my decision to go grain-free for the next 3 months in addition to my previous decision to be wheat free for life.

I've also started the Couch to 5K running program (I bought the app and everything). I'm doing it on the treadmill to force me to keep a steady pace, but I would like to graduate to road running at some point (probably after I get back to Toronto to be honest). I've done 3 workouts so far, and it's challenging for sure, but not so hard that I want to stop or even ease up.

2) I think I'm pretty much done with traditional classroom teaching. I may have blogged about this before, I can't remember. I've definitely thought it and said it before. As an introvert, I give energy in social situations and performances. As a performer that's always been fine, because I've been lucky enough to always get the energy back by way of audience attention and applause. If you think about it, the audience chooses to watch the performance and WANTS a good show, so they will it to be good. No one wants to have wasted their time and/or money. So even though I give a lot of energy when I sing or act, it's always returned to me pretty much right away.

Teaching in public school is not like that. I recently read The Alchemist (a book I feel deserves several revisits) and I think I know why. Here in Korea, my students are required to attend my classes. They're teenagers, but might as well be children for the amount of freedom they have to choose. Many of them are so far away from their own Personal Legends (Alchemist reference) that they're exhausted both physically and emotionally. As soon as they walk into my classroom, I feel that. So I try to compensate for their lack of energy by giving even more. But it isn't returned. I have maybe 2 or 3 classes (of 16) who come in with positive energy, even when they're physically drained, and they give me more energy than I give them, and it makes a big difference to me.

I don't feel like my job is seen as valuable for the most part (by the students or the school), which doesn't motivate me to soldier through the dead energy, and I was shocked to find I'm at a place where I don't want to go to work any more and am keeping my sights on free periods, long weekends, and whatever other time off I get (thankfully, I get a good amount).

3) I'd lost my motivation to code for the last couple months and didn't know why. I realised recently that I am only interested right now in front end development, rather than back end as well. I had been trying to convince myself that I needed to be a full stack web developer in order to be a 'real' programmer but the prospect of doing that bored me and I lost my drive and the fun that I was having when I first started (with HTML and CSS). I decided even if I'm not a real programmer, I can make a living doing front-end web development and web design and enjoy it. Also, a chat with my friend Tina (thanks girl!) assured me that Javascript (which is a part of front end developing) *IS* real programming. So there. Sounds cliché, but I have a renewed interest and sense of purpose now and I'm coding every day again without having to force myself. If you follow me on instagram (which you should: @AngeliqueJazz) you'll see that I'm learning jQuery currently and getting disproportionately excited about my mini achievements. I think I'm also happy that I'm excited again, which compounds the excitement.

4) I'd made a post about how I'm in countdown mode now, and that's still true, but with the coding, the running, and the nutrition experiments, I'm keeping myself meaningfully busy and it's helping me focus on something other than being here and being in countdown mode. Emotionally I'm in a good place these days, but I know for me it goes in cycles, so I'm building the habits now so that when my emotions take a dip I will hopefully have enough of a habit built up to push through it.

That's all. Bye!

4 Things

Metal Head and Grain Belly

I had tinnitus for MONTHS. It started after I had a middle ear infection around November 2015, so I thought it was connected. I saw 3 ENT specialists and they all said the same thing. "Nothing is wrong with your ear, so it's no big deal. It will go away on its own. The more you pay attention to it, the more you'll notice it." I was not satisfied with this answer so I did some Googling. None of the ENTs mentioned that having a high blood pressure could be a factor, and I found out that my blood pressure was (in January 2016) at the bottom of the high range.

That was also the time I decided to stop eating wheat altogether. I mentioned this in a previous post. It's now June and, save a couple accidents, I have been wheat free for 5 months now. Since then I have noticed that I don't get as bloated, the swelling in my ankles mostly went down, and my acne went away. Like the every day bumps that would just... appear for no discernible reason and cause me anguish because I am was a grown woman with acne! I have also, in the past month or so, been increasing my water intake, which I'm SURE has helped as well. As of today my tinnitus is MOSTLY GONE!!

BUT, I thought that was all I needed to do. Drop the wheat; drop the weight and the bloating and the discomfort. Nope. A bakery opened up in my neighbourhood that only uses rice flour in their products. I was SOOOO HAPPY that I kinda went nuts. Over the course of a week or two I tried out the different things they had: loaves, bagels, scones, etc. My ankles started to swell again. My stomach started to bloat again. I didn't have cravings the way wheat gave me cravings, though, so that was interesting (and a relief). I had noticed bloating when I ate regular white rice as well, but thought it was just making the wheat issue worse. (Trying to rationalize it so I could keep eating rice haha).

Anyway, I did some Youtube research and came to the conclusion I probably need to cut out all grains *cries*. I thought corn was safe because I haven't noticed as much bloating even as the rice, which caused less bloating than wheat. But, as it turns out, it's not just about the bloating (which I knew, but didn't pay much attention to).

So that's the next goal. Grain free. My mum follows a ketosis diet, which I tried for like a week, so I have seen how to eat meals without grains. And now I have a more compelling reason to do it for myself. I'm not saying I'm going keto, but I will go grain free, because I need to for my body. I've seen myself get fatter and fatter over the years without doing very much that's different from other people who are skinny. I know that physical activity is part of it, but having tried various workout programs that only worked short term, I know my nutrition is the key right now.

That's all.

Okay I love you buh-bye! (Looney Tunes anyone?)

Oh my god oats are grains too, aren't they? *sigh* man....

The Countdown Has Begun

I realised about a week ago that I have begun to think of how much time I have left here. I have begun to plan quite seriously what I will do when I leave. I even almost fell into the habit of not wanting to begin any projects until I return home to Toronto. Almost. I snapped back to reality when I pointed out to myself that I have 9.5 months left (you see? I'm even counting in half-months). That's still a long time yet. So I bought a fitbit today, instead of waiting until I get home to buy one (thanks Jun! Perfect timing!)

But ... that explains where I'm at emotionally and mentally right now. Life is not bad for me here. It's good actually. I have a stable job that I really like. When I started I absolutely loved it. Now I really like it. I'm burning out. My first year went by quickly and smoothly. I felt tired and drained at the end of each day, but I didn't countdown even once, I swear. And I signed on for a 2nd contract.

But ... I know that Korea will never be home. Even if I become fluent in Korean, I will always be the spectacle of every sidewalk I traverse. The sideshow attraction to every bus ride. And for someone like myself who generally doesn't like to leave the house anyway, it makes things really difficult. I have my coping strategies (keep my eyes occupied with a book or my phone while seated, deliberately daydream while I walk, etc.), but the fact that I feel the need for coping strategies just so I can handle going to the convenience store IN MY BUILDING tells me that this is not a healthy environment for me. Not for more than 2 years anyway.

I'm aware of the opinion that maybe I *think* people are staring when they aren't, or maybe people are staring because I'm putting that energy out there, but I'm not imagining this. I'm a Black woman in a homogeneous society filled with people who look VERY different from me. No matter how long I live here, I will never blend in; never be mistaken for someone who knows anything about the place in which I live. I will always be OTHER (yes, all caps). While there is beauty and power in standing out, it must be my choice. I have no choice here. I am always VISIBLE (yes, all caps), even when I am sick, tired, homesick, annoyed, lonely. And it might sound like "Oh wow you're a celebrity! Haha" but it isn't, because people do not look at me with a sense of pleasure (well, sometimes the little kiddies do). They look at me like this O_O. And stare as they walk past, even when I stare back. I've told people about this before, but just in case you're 'hearing' me say this for the first time: it sucks.

Like I said, things aren't BAD. I'm accomplishing the goals I came here to accomplish. I have a nice enough apartment that I can pay for and a steady paycheque. I'm experiencing a new part of the world in a way many people never get to, but being hyper-visible every single time I leave my apartment exhausts me. Add to that being a high school English teacher as an introvert who performs as an extrovert for work, and I'm left drained and not wanting to go anywhere, do anything, see anyone.

So yeah ... in 9½ months it'll be time. Pretty sure. =)

"It Finally Happened" or "Turning Negatives into Positives" or "Lesson Planning Made Easy?"

"So it finally happened. As if on cue to try and ruin the good mood I've been in this morning, an ajumma reached out her grubby hand and touched my hair. Then giggled to her friends. This isn't the first time for me but it is the first time since coming to Busan last February . I looked at her, frowned, shook my head and my hand and said "안돼요" (No/Don't). Her response was to keep on smiling like a fool in my face. The way you would smile at a child who's 'just so cute when they're mad'. Korea don't do this. Not yet. I still have another 10 months."

That was the Facebook post I made this morning while on the bus, shortly after moving seats because of the violation against my personal space. 6 years ago, when I lived in Siheung, this happened once every few months (total 4 or 5 times), and every time it made me more and more angry. Since moving to Busan last year, though, it NEVER happened until today. I managed to go a whole 13.75 months without being treated like an animal in a petting zoo. 

So I was pretty pissed. And it didn't help that when I got to work I discovered my classroom in the middle of renovations (with the expectation that I continue teaching in this mess). But...

Next week my students have their midterm exams. So this week they're pretty stressed out. The weather is warming up and the campus is beautiful, SO I had already planned to take them outside as part of our lesson. Since their task while outside is to find things that improve their mood, I decided to lead a meditation exercise as the intro to the lesson. 

First, I had them think about 1 thing that happened recently that caused them stress or made them feel upset or annoyed or otherwise unhappy. Then I had them talk about it with a partner for a few minutes. Then I told them about my thing. I must point out here that it was some consolation to see how shocked my students were that this had happened to me. So after sharing my thing with them, I had them close their eyes and imagine that frustrating situation (specifically the feelings of stress or anger) as a piece of bread in their hands. I told them to picture a fast-flowing river in front of them. With every inhale, I had them visualise breaking off a piece of the bread. With every exhale, I had them visualise throwing the bread into the river and watching the river carry it away out of sight. And I did it with them. 

And I think that was really useful in setting up the purpose of the class, which is to show them one way to help reduce stress and also have them think about other ways for themselves.

So all in all an interesting start to the week.

Connecting with Students

I've been doing individual speaking tests with my 11th grade students this week. I'm surprised how much I'm learning about them, though I don't know why I'm surprised. Perhaps it's the questions being asked. A student I had previously found a mystery and somewhat challenging in class turned out to be more like me than I thought.

Today, I had a moment of true connection with a student. It is rare that I have the opportunity to share something meaningful and non-academic with a student one-on-one, and even more rare that I have the wisdom to recognize it. But today I had one of those moments. The final question I asked her was, "What are you like as a person?" Some students need clarification on the question, but this student is one of the brighter and more enthusiastic ones in my class. She participates well and genuinely tries hard. Her answer almost broke my heart.

She had a brief moment of anguish on her face, then said, "I don't think I'm a very good person, because I'm a little bit selfish and not very social."

She got me. Right in the feels. I've also struggled with thinking I was too selfish and should be more social. It's part of the reason I've adopted more extroverted behaviour when I'm around other people, particular while I am teaching and performing. I thought it was the way I was supposed to behave. Now I still perform as an extrovert when I feel it is necessary, but I no longer trick myself that that is who I am or that that is my "better" self. I am perfectly content letting people know that sometimes I don't want to be social and letting them think of me what they will.

So, in a moment like that, I had to say something to her. She had just told me that what she wants to do with her career is research gene therapy. She loves to delve deep into whatever she is studying. She is really special, you guys. I couldn't let her leave that test (which was really just an assessment, everyone's getting the same grade for this one) thinking that I agreed with her.

I told her (paraphrasing here), "Okay, the test is over but I want to tell you something. There is nothing wrong with being selfish. Think about it. If other people call you selfish, it is because you are not thinking about THEM. So who's really the selfish one? And anyway, you need to take care of yourself. Have you ever heard the saying, 'You cannot pour from an empty cup'? It means that if you do not take care of yourself, you cannot help others, and I know you want to help others. Do you understand what I mean here? You have to take care of yourself if you're going to help other people. And as for not being social, I'm not very social either! I behave this way at work, but most days when I go home, I want to be totally alone. Society values people who are social, and who like to talk to others, but there are MANY people in this world who are like you and they do some amazing things. Who you are is good enough. And you are a good person. Please do not think there is something wrong with you. Ok?"

She said, "Yes. Thank you teacher." And gave me a seated bow. She bowed. I almost cried. She almost cried. It was a real moment, but no one else heard it. It felt like we were in a bubble and something really valuable had just taken place.

I ended class 2 minutes late as a result of that moment, but I think it was entirely worth it and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

2 stories for you:

1. I was on the subway yesterday (I live in Busan) and there was this ajosshi who started calling out this young couple for cuddling. He then walked down the car, stopping periodically to admonish different people for whatever reasons. It was kinda funny but it also made me nervous. Then he came back and sat across from me...................... and gave me the CUTEST SMILE you ever did see. All of a sudden he was like a kid in school, peeking around the person standing between us and waving. And then he said (and this was a first for me), "Indo?" I have my hair in an unmistakable afro so I wasn't expecting to be mistaken for Indian and I laughed and said "No. Canada." Then he asked if I was a university student (my ego was grateful for that one). I told him I was a high school teacher and he gave me the "OOoohhh" face and a thumbs up. I don't know if he was totally there mentally, and I know he was being a bit of a jerk before that, but a thumbs up from THAT GUY made my afternoon.


2. Today I was at a grocery store with my friend Monika and we were in the baking aisle. There was a toddler talking baby talk about the box he was holding to his dad who was crouched next to him. I love to hear babies talk so I probably laughed or said "aww" or something. The kid turned and looked at me and I said "anyong!" Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes I just get a blank stare. But this time his mom said "anyonghaseyo hae-yaji (basically: say hello)" and he gave me the most adorable bow and babytalk anyonghaseyo ever. Twice! And when they were leaving, his mom told him to say bye bye and he waved goodbye at me. And he made my afternoon.


Hope those stories made you smile!

Angel xo

Where's the Wheat?!

I've known for about 3.5 years now that I am intolerant to/sensitive to wheat/ gluten. Or I have IBS (I've heard they're pretty interchangeable terms). But I've loved the taste for so long, I would still cheat. Recently the desire to eat wheat (donuts, pastries, paninis, cake, etc.) has been less than my desire not to look 5 months pregnant and feel like a stuffed sausage every time I try to sit cross-legged on the ground. So I stopped. Cold turkey. For the first 2 days I was still taking wheatgrass, because so many websites site it as being gluten-free, but I have the same symptoms when I take it, just to a lesser extent so I stopped with that too. It's been 5 days completely wheat-free and I am currently going through some wheat withdrawal. Hungry more often. Craving bread. Craving every food I see online. Feeling despondent. Baby Jesus help me.

That's all. If you have resources to help me through this difficult time I would appreciate them, but rest assured I'm looking too and I know I just have to grit my teeth and muscle through it but it sucks.

Ok bye.

Angel xo

Reflections and Resolutions

Happy New Year Everyone!!

It's the first day of the first week of the first month of 2016 (here in Toronto), and I felt like making one of those posts about how last year treated me (or how I treated myself last year) and what my plans are for this year.

 TL; DR: 2015 was a good year. Here's to an even better 2016!

Ok, here we go!

In 2015, I:

• got rid of all of my furniture and most of my possessions,
• went on a cruise with my family, celebrating my 28th birthday in the Caribbean on the water complete with (if I recall) 14 different birthday songs and many people I love,
• moved to Korea for a great job teaching high school English with the help of an awesome, generous, kind friend,
• met some really good new friends, one of whom convinced me to pursue what could be a life-changing endeavour, another of whom keeps me motivated, another of whom listens to me winge (is this a word?) with patience, and more,
• gained greater clarity on where I want to be in the years to come,
• set SMART goals for my finances, my career, my health,

• developed a better relationship with food (eating when I'm hungry, less comfort eating, no more binging but not by force),
• started working on a better relationship with my body (this is a bigger job, pun intended),
• started work on getting to a better relationship with my self (lifetime work in progress),
• discovered that standard classroom teaching is not my forever, especially since I have a great job now and still feel this way,
• was able to go to the wedding of a special friend of mine and felt more included in THEIR day than I could have expected,
• learned more about the way I respond to the world, how the world can change, how I can change, and how I have already changed,
• spent quality time with my family during the holidays. Even now as I type this, my mum is sitting next to me working away on her own laptop haha.

Whew! I wouldn't be surprised if there was more that I forgot, but that's a lot on its own! I'm quite pleased with the way the year went, even when it wasn't pleasant in the moment.

So what's next?

In 2016, I'd like to:

• renew my contract for one more year,
• accomplish the short- to mid-term goals I set in 2015,
• build my portfolio and skillset in web developing,
• do a better job of lesson planning ahead of time,
• continue with the habits I formed in 2015 re: eating and physical activity,
• criticise myself less,
• love myself more (i.e. actively do things to show love to myself).

TBH, I'm just seeing how things go. It doesn't feel as much like a new beginning as I'd thought it might, and I suspect it's because a lot of the changes that I wanted to make were made during 2015. I'm impatient and if I genuinely want to do something I don't do well with waiting until a significant moment to start over. Plus it isn't starting over. I've learned that (in my life, anyway) everything goes in waves, or cycles. There are new phases, but I don't hinge all my hopes on them, because I know myself better and that has helped me to make better habits last longer. When I slip, I let myself slip, then I get back on track. Life can be stressful without us realising; there's no need to bring it on ourselves.

Anyway that's all for now. I'll make another post about my trip here and the trip back... when I'm back in Korea.

I love you all, be well!
Angel xo

Tired

I've been pretty drained lately. I've been slipping into La La Land. The space where nothing matters except what I want or what my body needs. Not out of anger or defiance, but fatigue. I just lose the energy to focus on others. It gets hard to remember what time it is, or even what day it is. This morning, I almost forgot I needed to get dressed and leave for work. I mean, I woke knowing I had to go to work, but I just... zoned out of responsibilities mode and kind of withdrew I guess. When I was on the bus, I started to zone out and fall asleep 3 stops before I needed to get off. I got off at the right stop though.

I've been consciously focusing on things that interest me, because I'd become bored. And with all the cool and exciting things there are to do, being bored made me feel like I was being lazy. So I started coding. I'm enjoying it. There's SO MUCH to learn, but it's fun so I can handle the occasional feeling of overwhelm. It's not just new languages (html, css, javascript, java, ruby, etc.), it's a whole new world. And that's fascinating and a little intimidating, but I'm not alone in my learning, which helps immensely.

I started taking Korean lessons. I like them. I don't really have much else to say about that.

I've also started a podcast. I've only done 2 episodes and I have ideas for future ones, but I don't know how well that's going. It was an idea I'd had, but never acted upon because that's how I roll. I often get a case of analysis paralysis, where I over think things and as a result never act on them. Then I was encouraged by a couple of my coding friends to be more proactive (or just active really) and just do it. So I did it. And then I made another one. The 2nd one didn't receive much positive feedback on the content, or the style. I mean, I asked for the feedback, and I got some constructive critiques, but I'm still learning how to not take criticism personally. Especially when it's about something I created (and was afraid to create).

I straddle this line between fear of rejection, and need for external validation. It's messed up, you know? So I put myself out there, even though I'm afraid. And sometimes I regret it. But that's life.

I'm writing more, and seeing friends more, which pleases me. Maybe that's why I'm tired. I'm doing a lot more than I was doing before. And being an introvert who also enjoys being social, I need to learn when to step back and slow down before I exhaust myself (like it seems I've done). Monday comes and I wonder what happened to the weekend, because I didn't rest. So maybe this is what happens when I don't take enough time to myself?

Gamcheon Culture Village

Friday was "Hangeul Nal" which means Hangeul Day. Hangeul is the written form of Korean, created by King Sejeong (I think) to make Korean more accessible to the common folk.

On that day everyone had the day off, so I went to Gamcheon Culture Village with some new friends and took a bunch of pictures. Real people live there every day, and if I remember correctly it housed a lot of refugees displaced by/from the Korean War. Now, however, it's like an art walk with lots of great photo ops. I can't imagine what it must be like to live there, hanging your laundry out to dry for tourists to see.... weird.
With that said.... We had a great time! From the 2 hilarious taxi drivers we had to the great photos to Chloe's phenomenal creeper face, it was a wonderful day for me. Lots of fun and laughs and pictures! So here they are:

(L-R) Jen, Monika in front, Chloe and MOI!

Pigeon People

I'm a little nervous about where this sign is pointing...

Look at that foolishness

I don't know her, but she really wanted a picture with me. My first case of waygook fame!!

Look at that gorgeousness

The BEST creeper shot.

Shoutout to my Mom's "Home Pose"!

I don't know how she does it. She's teaching me.

Pants Plants (say that 5 times fast!). The sign says "Community Square"

Long weekend? Already?

I'll take it!

The 2nd semester only just started, but I have Monday off b/c no classes, hurray! This is definitely a huge perk of being the foreign teacher on a separate contract from my Korean counterparts. Way less work. Way less responsibility. Way more flexibility. I don't know if I make more or less than they do, though.

Actually I should amend that previous paragraph to say it's a huge perk of MY JOB. Not all foreign teachers have this kind of flexibility with their schools. In fact, most don't. Especially considering I don't work for a university (yet). But God likes me a lot, I think, so I often end up in great living spaces and now great workplaces too.

Heavily edited photo of me looking somewhat smug.
Ironically, I'm at work in this shot.

Also, here are some cool photos I took recently, just because I'm trying to use Facebook less for important things. Like random photos..... Anyway here:

Cider at this place called Galmegi I think

Fried Chicken Curry....with cheese. It was good!

Lavender around all the trees in my neighbourhood.

Monday Funday

It was a good day, I just wanted to say that.

I now start late every Monday, which means a much more relaxing introduction to the work week for the rest of the semester. Especially great as the days get shorter and the mornings get darker.

Also, the earliest I will be starting on any given day is 11:30 (an hour later than the previous 10:30). Pretty sweet.

Also, on the way home, there was a food truck selling churros!

Pretty clever name, yes?

Of course I bought some.

For those of you on the other side of the planet, I hope your Monday is as good as mine was!

Angel xo

I Dreamed a Dream.... and then it happened. Kinda.

So I've been experiencing some dream realness lately.

Exhibit A

The night of Aug. 6. I dreamt that I received an envelope I was waiting for from Air Canada, but instead of the cheque for $400 that I was expecting, it was a gift certificate to some store for $280. I was frustrated and bewildered. The next day, I received that envelope and instead of a cheque for $400, it was a NOTICE of compensation. In other words, an I.O.U. I was frustrated and bewildered.

Exhibit B

The night of Aug. 7. I dreamt that I received a cheque from my alma mater for $13,000 because I had such a high GPA. I remember saying, "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about!" I felt elated. The next day, I didn't receive money BUT there was a sale at the Shoe Company and I got 3 pairs of shoes, all shoes that I'd been meaning to get for a WHILE, for less than $150. I felt elated and said something like, "YES! THAT'S what I'm talking about!"

Exhibit C

Last night. I dreamt that I had a conversation with Sammy, a family member who passed away earlier this year. I don't know if it was a visitation dream, because we didn't talk about much, except going out for dinner. He wasn't eating (didn't need to anymore), but was happy to go with us and chat and drink tea while we ate. Mostly I remember him just looking at me and smiling. This morning, my first day of work for the semester, I'm in the final stages of getting ready to go and I get a text from my Korean teacher liaison and he tells me that there's been a schedule change and today (and every Monday now) I only have 2 classes and don't start until 4pm (rather than 4 classes and starting at 10:30am). His English name.... is Sam.

Mind Blown

That is all. Enjoy your day!

Eau Canada!

This post is not about water, but I thought "Oh Canada" would have been too unoriginal. So just give me a tiny clap for my tiny piece of creativity in that title

*waits for tiny applause*... Okay moving on.

I went to Canada! From July 31st to August 11th I was really quite blessed to be present for the wedding of a great friend of mine from high school and also to see friends and family in Toronto. And now I'm back! People had asked me early on in my time here in Busan whether or not I missed Toronto. And I started to miss it after a while, but at first the only response I had was "I miss my family. I miss my friends. I don't really miss Toronto." I do love Toronto, but it was really the presence of my mum and dad; my brother and sister-in-law; my friends that made this trip great.

PARKSVILLE, VANCOUVER ISLAND, BC

Jana's wedding was BEAUTIFUL. She was BEAUTIFUL. The day was BEAUTIFUL. And that whole weekend was just..... you know. I felt so loved and even though I wasn't in the bridal party I felt like I was a part of it all. It wasn't my day, so it wasn't about me, but I'm the protagonist in the movie of my life and in this part of the movie all I felt was joy for Jana and Craig and also for myself, because I felt so included. I don't know how Jana did it. I suspect she is magical. Leenie and Cierra think so too. Speaking of Cierra and Leenie (and also Izzy), THANK YOU for the long ass ride from/to Comox airport. Also thank you for listening to my rant about that gosh darn taxi driver. It was a good story hey?! Chad, another good friend from high school, was the awesomest roomie/wedding buddy ever. And I got to reconnect with/meet Andrea (also from high school but we didn't really talk). It really was all quite perfect.

All packed and ready to head out the door. July 31, 2015

FINALLY in Parksville and hanging out the night before Jana and Craig's big day.

Chad and Leenie

The beautiful bride, Jana

Andrea!

Wedding Day!

Teehee!

Maude/Betsy 

I was SO happy to eat this breakfast. It was SO tasty and now I want to eat it again.

Cocktail time!

We're so good looking.

But she's just gorgeous!

First dance as a married couple!

Leenie and Cierra (just cuz they're awesome)

L-R: Leenie, Cierra, Some girl.

Their room had a gorgeous view!

TORONTO, ON

My week in Toronto was chill (literally and figuratively. HA!) and pleasant and I didn't do everything I had initially planned to do, but I did the important things, and I did them fully. I got to spend some really substantial time avec ma famille and got to see some of the friends I'd been missing while here in Busan. Thanks for making time for me (in order of appearance) Matt, Sarah, Leona, Keith, Letesha (plus Praise!), and Najla. I had a blasty blast with you all! Thank you to my Mama and Papa for all the great food and for letting me stay with you in your new home! It was great to see my cousin Kay-Dean and my Uncle Evon at the BBQ (on one of the few Sunny days while I was in Toronto womp womp).

Flavoured soju = Victory!

She's so cute.

They have a pool!!

Christening the new BBQ master chef!

Siblings!

D'awwwww

Hangouts with Friends

Brunch at Insomnia!

With Sarah!

Poutiiiine at Smoke's

With Keith and Leona!

Time for some BIG DRANKS!

Awww yis

Also dessert and colouring. It was tons of fun.

Albion Falls, Hamilton

We almost bought the same shoes!

Here's an unobstructed view of the falls.

And a cool rock face/wall thing.

House Warming BBQ

Najla holding Praise

Letesha!

When the photographer makes you laugh then snaps the pic.

Me with Mama and Baby!

My brother dons Praise with his hat.

She likes it!

She also really likes chewing on bottles, apparently.

My cousin, Kay Dean, going for a leisurely climb.

She seems to be having fun.

Then is unsure of how to get down.

With my mom's help, she makes it down!

And stays seated for the remainder of the BBQ, safely on the ground lol.

The first smile I got out of Praise!

I was very pleased with myself haha.

Shout out to Air Canada. Just kidding I low-key hate you.

Bye!